Bojangles, Vineyard, Jackalope
Carl and Martha Dubois were sitting on the porch one summer morning. Eighty year old Martha was doing a crossword puzzle from the paper, eighty-one year old Carl was reading the sports section.
“Carl.” She had a distinct northern accent, and sounded a lot like Katharine Hepburn in “On Golden Pond.”
“Hmm?” He absently waved at a fly. Read the rest of this entry
Persnickety, Tribal, Melancholic
The characters in this story are fictional, as are the portrayals of any people, groups or chiefs. This is only a parody and no offense is intended or should be taken.
The elders sat around the fire, each of them squirming uncomfortably. The Chief had served dinner to the council earlier; it consisted mainly of meat and a starchy root sauce. It was winter and there weren’t a lot of plants around for them to eat; no fruits or berries for fiber. While it did smell wonderful (hence the large turnout for tonight’s meeting) it did tend to leave a fellow a little… bound up so to speak. Read the rest of this entry
Antidisestablishmentarianism, hemorrhage, phlebotomy
Bam! Whizzle whizz splat! Keen heard the noises and saw the great machine shake and shudder. Broken pieces came out on the conveyor belt. He scooped them all up and threw them into the recycle bin. Unfinished pieces could be tossed out, but completed works would have to be kept whether they made sense or not. Keen had to do something, tell someone fast! He ran to the telephone to call maintenance. Read the rest of this entry
Zombie, Pineapple, Octopus
Okay good readers, my friend’s kids wanted a story about a certain yellow, square sea sponge, and in the wish to avoid any copyright issues I did a parody of said sponge instead. Hey, we all have lame writing days, this is MY lame, I own it, it’s Mine! Your kids might like it though, everyone knows that grown-ups are lame! Read the rest of this entry
flamingo, knight, loupe
Carolina Hayes pulled her feathered, electrified and bedazzled headdress off and put it on a shelf in the back of the dressing room. Jessica Martin and Arlene Treanor were nearby, doing the same. They all sat and took off their strappy sandals with the 4 inch heels Read the rest of this entry
Popcorn, jelly beans, kitties
“Mom, where is my pink shirt? I want to show Jenny.” Casey called downstairs.
“Did you put it in the dirty clothes?” Her mother called back. The silence upstairs was her answer. “I can’t wash your clothes if you don’t put them in the hamper Casey. Put it in and I’ll get it the next time I do wash.”
“What?” Casey had already gone back to her room. Read the rest of this entry
Mistake, Chocolate, Whale
The small bell over the front door jingled merrily. People had come and gone all morning, ordering cakes with everything from crowns to whales to Barbie dolls on them.
“Hello, welcome to Baking Babes, how are you today?” The owner, Candy Owens, greeted the newcomers with a smile. Father and daughter, Candy thought. They favored one another.
“We would like to order a cake,” said the gentleman. Read the rest of this entry