Just one little thing


I held it all close
but the dues are paid are they not
these words come at last
to eyelashes that never blinked
flotsam with no heartbeat
battling for months, but your
creator was killing you
I was afraid for you. of you
but He knows His business
no, it’s true yet…
two decades later
my heart still knows
I never got to say goodbye
I never got to say goodbye.

3 responses »

  1. The sadness here is so heartfelt, Neeks. I really like this line:
    “I was afraid for you. of you”
    It speaks so much to the particular pain of not saying goodbye.
    Well done!
    Thank you Mayumi, I do love to see you here. I should write more…you are so
    strong and doing so well in your writing. I need to find my steam again!


  2. flotsam without an heartbeat………Sometimes that is exactly the memory we are left with, to wrestle with, that awful awful carnage of dwindling life; it is a drowning of sorts, fragments of good and bad of being human discard to lighten the load for the next part of the journey. But am not so sure that this is sad as much as it is a test – a test of faith, a test of forgiveness, a lessen in benevolence. If there is truly sadness within then it is in the details not spoken. I remember Ruth, whom comments from time to time on BPC, wrote for a year about her sister’s life, struggles, her fight against cancer and eventual her death. Her relation with her sister strained and tenuous at best. Yet after her death she found a way to love her sister again. All that flotsam came together in heart but not after long conversation with herself. We all have to find ways to love again, forgive and learn not to forget. Good shtufffs for all the reasons, Neeks.
    This was personal, my stuff here usually is not. Sometimes our bodies are our worst enemies. So it was then. But in this as in all things, His plan. His plan. I am content.

    Liked by 1 person

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