(Lunar, Schnitzel, Monogamous)
Ladies and Gentlemen, please bring your attention to the left side of the rover.” The tour guide pointed. “Right there, see it? That folks, is a Schnit, oh how fortuitous to find one!” She pointed to a smallish thing like a tube worm only with legs. “They are a monogamous creature, as far as we can tell they are indigenous to our own moon. On all the planets we’ve landed on and explored so far, the Schnits have never been seen anywhere but here; they are quite rare.” Murmurs and nods accompanied her speech. Several people whipped out their picture portals and attempted to capture the scene but the tiny creature ran at from the pops of light the portals emitted.
“Oh, oh he’s scared now, that’s too bad.” A lady in the back said.
“Let’s wait and see if he comes back out,” said another.
“He won’t. Once scared like that they won’t come out again for hours. Moving along,” the guide replied. “Let’s continue the tour.” They came around a corner and in the distance they could see a magnificent resort. “Next up will be your stop for the night, the best retreat lunar or earth side, “Le Mons Delise Chalet.”
Excited claps and exclamations met that announcement. The rover excursion had been bumpy and rather long, with its many stops and starts. The landing pad was several miles away from the resort, the better to foster the image of solitude. The spacesuits were used and some of them …well, some of them had an odor to them, if you will.
Rolf and Marta Grün were the first ones off the rover. They were an older couple and had saved for this trip their entire lives. They never had children of their own, had lived long lives and saved their money. They expected a wonderful week full of incredible experiences, off-world vacation! It was the trip of a lifetime. Le Mons Delise Chalet sounded like a beautiful and relaxing place; they couldn’t wait to check in and go exploring. Rolf just wanted out of his suit; the helmet was beginning to chafe.
They checked in and were shown to their room, a valet would bring their bags up later. Herr Grün was insistent that they bring the bags immediately.
“Very well sir,” the valet said as left. “I will see to it myself.”
“Humph. Well, good then, thank you.” Herr Grün grumbled.
In no time at all Frau Grün had checked out the entire room.
“A rain bath, a real rain bath!”
Herr Grün nodded.
“And a little pond to bathe in, with real goldfish and minnows!”
Herr Grün doubted he would partake in that. Didn’t minnows nibble? Never mind.
“Where are our blasted suitcases?” He bellowed. Just then came a knock on the door and the wayward suitcases were returned to them. The valet stood in the doorway, waiting. Herr Grün noticed.
“What do you want now?” A rotund man, he pretty much stayed red in the face, a consequence of all his yelling perhaps.
“Now Rolf,” said his wife. “He wants a tip. Give him a tip.”
“I’ll give him a tip. Here son; next time get your customers bags to them quicker and maybe you’ll get a tip! Get it?” He turned to his mortified wife. “A tip!”
Predictably the valet did not find the joke amusing. He reached for the doorknob and Frau Grün stopped him with a few tokens. “Here dear, he’s all bluster you know, no bite at all. Thank you now!”
The valet smiled politely and wished them a tranquil vacation as he backed out of the room, closing the doors behind him. When Frau Grün turned around she found Herr Grün pawing through the suitcases.
“What on earth? Or what on moon I guess. What are you doing? I had them packed so neatly.”
Herr Grün found what he was looking for. He turned around, red face beaming. He was holding a package to his heart. “Ah, this is what I wanted dear Marta.” He held it out and showed her.
“Schnitzel? Rolf Grün, you brought schnitzel to the moon? Have you gone out of your head?” She had hoped he would try new things, open himself to some new experiences. Well, no matter. SHE certainly would. “Well you just enjoy that schnitzel old man; I am going to try new things every day!”
“But not too many new things, eh my Marti?”
Frau Grün looked at her husband of these many years. For all his blustering it was evident, he truly adored her. She went to him and put her arms around half of his waist.
“Not too many new things, my Rolfi,” then giggled like a schoolgirl when he kissed her.