Leave it in Beaver

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(Chirp, Zen, Bloody)

It’s like a scene out of a Stephen King book. Surreal, otherworldly. The kitchen is clean, spotlessly so. The counter top gleams next to the shiny stainless steel sink. A kitchen towel hangs from the oven handle, ends neatly together and unwrinkled. I stand in the doorway and look from one side to the other, seeing the old refrigerator, so old it has a hammered-metal freezer door inside. It has the old metal ice trays too, the ones where you have to lift the metal piece in the center to break the ice cubes loose.  The overhead light is bright and white.

You might expect June Cleaver or someone to zip in every morning, cheery and chirping while they make coffee in the old percolator and fry up slabs of bacon and eggs for her husband and children. Walking into the house you could forget you were forty plus years old and once again be a ten-year old child, making sure to wipe your feet so that you won’t track mud on your mother’s floors.

I move through the kitchen and stand in the archway leading to the living room. The house is silent, zenlike in its calm. It’s a dry and cold silence, the kind when no one is nearby to disturb the air or breath into it. Why, you would just never know there is a dead body in the foyer with a bloody knife messing up that nice clean floor next to it. What have I done, and wouldn’t June be pissed?

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22 responses »

  1. More to come? Or is this the beginning of a story for next year’s National Novel Writing Month?

    I don’t know, was just throwing up a flash fiction story, a writing quickie if you will. lol. I could continue couldn’t I?

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  2. This is sort of like a combination of The Honeymooners, Stepford Wives, Psycho, and Clue all rolled into one. Way to get the readers hooked in and keep them wondering and waiting for more!
    Great horror/mystery/suspense elements in here, keep going. Where does this lead…? I wonder…(cue ominous music here) 🙂

    Hehe, hmmmmm. I’ll have to think about this.

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  3. Ha! Love it. I like the length, too – it’s hard to write TINY stories!

    I agree, it’s hard to find a story to relate in that short a space, and hard to end it without just pulling the curtain down mid-sentence! lol.
    Thanks for stopping by Gretchen, it’s always good to see(read) you!
    😉

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  4. More! Please?

    Great post!

    Mmm okay, I will have to think on it a while. Will try to post something over the weekend or first of the week. I’m working on something truly stupid and silly in honor of the holiday season, and will try to get that posted tomorrow. 😮

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  5. I love June Cleaver stories, even if it isn’t about June!

    Thanks Nelle, I remember when the show came on tv. We didn’t usually watch it, but I remember seeing episodes from time to time in reruns.

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  6. I personally thought June Clever had another side to her. Maybe, just maybe June wouldn’t be pissed. Staged and cold as steel -a breeding ground for secrets. Shivers. Oh, wait. Not going to worry about the ‘Beav’, I now fear for my own well being. My mother still has those exact metal ice trays. Always a tea towel folded over a bar on drawer by the sink – looking as if freshly ironed. An the last time I was there, I did notice a large butcher knife was missing from the holder. I guess that is how the devious and your story draws us in. Making us feel safe and secure……and then. Well it’s too late. Game over.
    .
    You know I have never read a Stephen King book. That said, I have watched ‘The Green Mile’ a half a dozen times.

    Good old June cleaver. Get it? Cleaver. Baaahahahahaaa! You’d better be careful Hudson, and mind your manners at the table…

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    • Oh I forgot something. As I read this story, the images in my mind were black and white. I thought that was kinda cool. Speaks of the quality of the way it was written. It is those things that lay hidden, unseen and unmentioned behind the words that have the greatest impact on a story or even a sentence. By the way, I rather liked the length of it. Thought the way it ended, quite abruptly, made me feel uneasy. If something evokes a feeling you know you just experienced ‘sum powerful shtufffs’………..shivers, again.

      Thank you Hudson, I’m glad you liked it!

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    • Yep, I got the clever cleaver. Wonders to myself if this just a snippet to a Neeks festive season piece. Naw, she wouldn’t.

      Mmmm, I don’t know Hudson, this is the second piece that readers have asked me to do more with…and I can’t remember the other one…lol

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      • Can’t remember…oh dear. I have that problem with memory, The thing is the ‘remember’r is broken’ but the ‘forgetter’r works just fine’.

        😮

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  7. I can just see a picture of the knife sticking out, and blood that has seeped into a long trail over the uneven plank floor, ending in a crack in the old wooden plank floor.

    I agree with the others above about needing more, more, more. Hehehe… Such fun.

    Oh boy, looks like I’m headed back to the word processor this weekend… 🙂

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  8. So awesome, as always. But you know? Speaking as someone whose house has to be clean all the time, I think Hudson might have a point. Every once in awhile I look up at my husband and feel just a wee bit… stabby. Not quite enough to actually, you know, pick up that lovely Henckels knife over there. Not quite enough to even actually picture doing such a thing (much). Just enough that when my beloved tromps in after work and dumps his bag on the clean floor, I can read a story like this one and smile. Just a little 🙂

    Hehehe, ooh ooh eee oooh! (Smiling) …and I’ll be sure to wipe my feet when I come over to your blog. lol!

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  9. Ah, I remember those ice cube trays; it certainly conjured up memories and then you bring me to the present by dropping ‘zen’ into my thoughts. Interesting………

    Ah well now, in my defense…someone gave me those words… hehehe.
    😉

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  10. A true cliff-hanger, very appropriate for Victoria’s prompt.

    Thank you so much! I stopped by and checked out your blog too, congratulations on your degree and what a lovely place you live in!

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  11. Excellent…the ending was a surprise…perfect for the prompt today. Love that title too!

    Gayle

    Thank you so much, I’m glad you liked it. I’m glad I found that blog too, the prompt idea is a cool one 🙂
    You can read the story in its entirety by clicking on the link at the top of the home page, “Leave it in Beaver – the Full Story”

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  12. hmmm… maybe the butler did it

    Hi there, thanks for stopping by and commenting! You can read the finished story by clicking on the “Leave it in Beaver – The Full Story” link on the home page. I hope you like it!

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