This one is for Yane Cha Novee


You Crazy B!

Popelia lifted her head, eyestrain was getting to her again.  She rubbed a tired hand across her face and stretched.  I need to get up and move a little, she thought.  Get my blood moving again!  Popelia was an archaeologist, and a good one.  She was an expert on all things ‘2000.’   She was tired and a little sore from bending over her lab table, she had been there for several hours now.

Given that this was the year 3469 and that technology was just now returning to it’s pre-war momentum, the 2000’s were of great interest these days.  The “Big One” had occurred back in 2010.  The world had finally blown itself up.  It seemed that every little country on the earth had their own nuclear bombs back then and inevitably, some fool had pushed the panic button.  The resulting detonations and backlash had started the last world war.  The had been near total annihilation.  The human race had taken hundreds of years to recover, and a recent global census put world populations now at roughly 1/3 of what they had been before the war.

Popelia had made a major find.  Well, it had fallen into her lap.  A farmer had seen something sticking up out of his field and it had turned out to be the corner of a very old brick building.  The entire field was now a university dig site, and was yielding many large and small artifacts.  One of the strangest was the large metal tubes.  They were huge, big enough to stand and walk in.  You could probably fit 40-50 people in each one.  There were two here, in various stages of decay.  One had racks, it looks like rows of seats.  She speculated that this may have been some mode of transportation, back in the 2000’s they did not have transporters as they did now.  They had to drive and fly and take boats to go any appreciable distances.   Few books or pictures remained from those days, most of it was destroyed in the war.  So much lost, so much.

She now held a black and silver box, it was small and fit in the palm of her hand.  It was a camera that recorded digital video (They had used these before spatial projection data became available).  A small plastic storage card had to be inserted and the data was stored on it.  The card then was inserted into a compooter and the video displayed on a monitor.  Popelia was now manipulating one of those cards, she had worked it out of the camera and fervently hoped it would still retain some of its data.  Suddenly a grainy picture started coming through her viewer.  Popelia became very excited.

It was a video.  Very grainy and the pictures weren’t very good of course, but there was an audio track as well! This was optimal!  A few onlookers watched the viewer with her.  It showed a large open office area…or control room?  There were actual compooters on the desks and other machines!

“Look at their clothes,” someone sneered.
“Look at their hair!”  Said another.

Popelia continued to watch.  The video was only about 15 minutes long.  She watched it over and over, trying to make out what had happened and what was going on.  Were they celebrating something?  Was this normal office procedure?  No one would ever know.  The video centered on two older females, their nametags said “Yane” and “Moneequa.”  That’s not what they seemed to call each other though.

Moneequa is quite large, she must have been very prosperous.  The skinny one was called Yane.  They both had grey hair, but Yane’s hair was dark and the grey was centered down the part in her hair like a stripe.  It must be a sign of high rank.  Both females appeared to be at work, though the office was emptying fast.  It looked as though most everyone was going home.  There was a big “USAF” emblem on the wall behind them, and “MOODY AFB” written across a calendar.  Both females were in civilian clothing, they moved through the room collecting waste paper.  

“Hey-B!”  says Moneequa to the Yane.  It sounds like all one word.  
“Buh buh buh buh B!”  Says the Yane right back at her.  They make alarming snorting and barking noises.  

“I think that’s how they used to display pleasure with one another.”  Popelia remarked.

“No way  how barbaric.”  Someone responded.  They titter back and forth politely and touch fingertips a few times.

Yane goes back across the counter and says ‘buh buh B!’ on her way by as  Moneequa empties a trash can.   The video breaks.  It takes Popelia a few minutes to get it working again.

There goes Moneequa, again with the ‘buh B’ I wonder if she was like, simple.  You know?  Couldn’t talk right?  She holds a hand to her forehead and uses her fingers to make the shape of an L.  Ah I see, she’s talking to someone else now!  Must be that guy walking out the door.  His name is.. Scotch?  Hard to read his ID badge.   Hmmm, I wonder what his occupation was.  He crosses the open area and leaves by the front door.  The females swagger and pretend to walk like him after he leaves.  They snort and bark a lot.  

The shorter one, Yane goes in the back and comes out with a bottle, it says Jim Be#m on it.  The big one, Moneequa goes and comes back with another bottle that says baca# di on it.   Both females drink from the bottles as they work.  After a while they get kind of sloppy.  The big one falls over and the dark-haired one trips over her.  Then they both sit against the wall for a while.  Burrrrrp.  Wow one of them just burped.   After a few minutes they get up and resume their work.  Yane takes a trash can and empties it into the room that Scotch came out of.  They snort and bark a lot.

What could the significance of this be?  Well they seem to be friends, so Popelia believed when the office was empty they went and raided the desk of their co-workers or boss, taking the liquids and consuming them.  What was that Yane said at the end?  She rewound the video.

They were clinking the bottles together and one of them pushed too hard.  Moneequa tripped and fell over a console; she ended up pushing on a big red button.  The dark-haired female said, “Awww you crazy B…!”   A bright flash came and it was over.  

That was the end of the footage.  Popelia recognized the importance of the video.  This was it!  This was the catalyst that had started the “Big One.”  Two females, consuming libations, hit the doomsday button.  Words just don’t describe.

One response »

  1. Heh, I didn’t see that ending coming. Imagine how we will be viewed from the future. Good story!

    Thanks Nelle!
    This is for a dear friend of mine, we call each other “B” at work since we can’t say other words of silliness. She challenged me to do a story using “you crazy B” in it. The fun is knowing what the “B” actually stands for. 🙂


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